Rolling with the Punches - 2023
Last I remember, I eagerly anticipated the upcoming year, excitedly planning my first concerts and looking forward to the possibilities. However, as the year draws to a close, I find myself alone in my room, the lights dim, my mind wandering, pondering the events that unfolded.
has been a significant challenge, casting shadows on my perception of myself and triggering doubts about my capacity for growth. I've become increasingly skeptical, wondering if my achievements are merely a result of luck, which may not always be on my side.
Looking back, my 20-year-ish living on this earth was full of eventful processes. Not necessarily ups and downs, but I felt like I was entering a new chapter that was not comparable with what happened prior. But this year, I don’t know if I really entered the “myth” of quarter-life crisis as many would say, or if I couldn’t help but compare myself these days, and I feel like the curve of achivement is drastic shows minus growth rather than starting a new chapter and drawing my new curve.
I always value my personal growth, which I just explored from my senior year of college to the early years of my professional life I’m capable of doing amazing things I didn’t know I could, and that gave me confidence. This year I faced obstacles and I honestly had a hard time addressing the real problem and finding the right solution. I wouldn’t say that’s all beyond my control because if I knew that, I would still be satisfied knowing I’ve given my all, but I feel like if I were a laptop, I’d be hung. Too much to process and I froze instead of being tactical and responsive. Knowing that disappoints inner me, but I’m trying my best to not dwell on that even when at the end of the day I’m not feeling okay.
This year has taught me that my responsibilities are more significant than I initially perceived, and the weight of that realization has been overwhelming. Tears have flowed more freely than in the previous year, as I navigated feelings of betrayal from individuals I thought I could always trust, even if their actions weren't intentional.
But this year was not a total flop. Thanks to the foresight of my past self, Dina from 2022, I managed to weave in planned activities to maintain my sanity in 2023. I made a conscious effort to relish leisure time to the fullest—attending my first concert, witnessing my idol in action, and exploring new places. Gratitude extends to my closest friends, the pillars of unwavering support, and even unexpected allies found among my co-workers, providing a silver lining in a seemingly hopeless place. I also try to get some new source of income. Although it’s not much, I’m glad I finally executed the plan I had since graduation day.
Additionally, this year witnessed significant milestones for those closest to me. My younger brother graduated with distinction and secured his first job, while my boyfriend navigated opportunities aligning with his dreams. Our relationship weathered a storm earlier in the year, emerging stronger than ever. His passion, dedication, commitment, and authenticity serve as a beacon of inspiration, instilling faith that I too can overcome my current challenges.
To all experience the same or worse things, I hope this phase won’t last long. To those who experienced great things this year, congratulations!
Let’s learn from our mistakes, and do our best for the upcoming year. Our time to dwell on our failure this year should stop by the end of this year before starting a new year!
Looking forward to massive changes & growth (for me, personally) in 2024!
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