Day 1 - My Personality

 

I'd like to recommend you to listen Snoh Aalegra - Find Someone Like You while reading to this post. 

Hi! As you guys know, I’m Dina. The writer-nim in this blog. So I think I’m going to do this challenge to sharpen my writing skill. Also, I personally think this challenge is a great opportunity for me to actually get to know myself more. I want to thank one of my readers, who approached me personally and encouraged me to keep writing. You know who you are, thank you so much for encouraging me to keep living the life the way I want it. I hope you all of my readers doing well. Stay safe & healthy!

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Honestly, it is easier for me to describe others more. So, let me start, and pardon the imperfection since it’s my first time.

Dina.

There’s a lot of different styles of how I describe myself. In front of the interviewer, for example, I’d say I’m an enthusiast, eager to learn, and love to contribute to team success through hard work, passion, and excellent organizational skills. Am I lying? No. Those are true. But it doesn’t give a whole big picture of myself.

I am in the middle. Not really an introvert nor extrovert person. I like being around a lot of good people. I love to have company. But I need a break. I need to have time for and by myself. Since I am a dreamer, I need my own time to contemplate this world, my past, my future, even what was happening in the very place I stand 1.000 years ago. Why lilies smell so nice and why tulips rarely grew in my country. How my great grand grand grand (..) parents look like. Did one of them have the same face like mine?

I consider myself a creative person. I love to try a different approach and making an impact. I am learning new things every day. Then I’d say I’m a friendly person. It confuses me when people think less of others before they get to know them (except politicians and internet's attention seekers; I'm sorry I have limits) when actually each people are unique in their own way. When getting to know people, I always get something new to learn, whether it is from their personality or their experiences. But I know my limits so at the end of the day I can’t be everyone’s friends. Sometimes, it’s for my own sake.

I love my friends and my family. So I might say I am a family-oriented person. I love them so much I can’t stand seeing them having any burden. I always take my time to cry for others. I can only pray for them and be there for them, helping when it’s needed, when they struggled to get through their problem. It's human nature to hurt others, thus I can’t get mad at them for too long.

Also, I’m having this older sister figure or complex (?). I felt joy, and wholesome when people younger than me look up to me. I love to hear their stories and give them advice based on my experience. I encourage them to grow, to fly, to be the best person they could ever be, to surpass me in life. In contrast, I am a little awkward when I get the role of a younger sister. I tend to, maybe, get too polite and not fun. Lol. I don’t want people who are older than me to think I’m disrespectful towards them.

Which leads me to another trait of mine. Cry baby. As I said, I cry easily for others. I can’t hold it. It's exceptional for my problem, I tried my best to hold my tears. I am also a pessimist. I expect the worst of everything. It might be my coping mechanism to prevent myself from getting disappointed. Still, I don’t think it was doing any good. It triggers my anxiety even more then I worried too much. Well, nobody’s perfect, so I’m working on it. People would say that I’m too nice, but people who are close to me pointed out that I’m kind of a people pleaser (ouch, that hurts). I felt uneasy to reject someone’s request, and feeling guilty whenever I am not capable of helping others. But once again, I’m working on it. I know that I should prioritize myself. Not because I am a self-centered person, but to prevent losing “myself” in the process. Hopefully, after I became a ‘whole’ person because I know very well how to love myself, I can take good care of others. Especially people whom I truly care about. Who knows, at the end of the day, I might be able to acquire the love that I deserve.

So that’s it! Thank you for taking the time to read my unorganized essay. Feel free to join the challenge! Have a great day See you (hopefully) tomorrow!

Bintaro, 1 Oktober 2020

With love,

Dina.