Day 11 - Things I Couldn't Tell You In Person

I did write about you once, but ok.

I remember back then when there were just three of us. I didn't know you yet. I remember watching our mother’s tummy got bigger, and I could feel your tiny feet kicks in. I remember I cried because of the fight against our father because I insisted I want a little sister. Turned out, it’s god’s will, you came into our life, and I couldn't be more grateful.

I remember when I ran to our mother, crying because you fell off the bed under my watch. You were just a little baby. I remember our first fight when my little baby brother started to annoy me with his strong kicks. I remember myself crying out loud because you broke my princess-stick from my favorite magazine. I remember when I saw our mother’s face full of anger because of that. She asked me do I love my princess-stick more than my little brother? Then I cry louder. Of course, I’d always choose you over anything.

Then when you were trying to copy me in almost everything. When you were being obedient every time I asked you to bring me water just because you wanted to play with me. I remember when we were planning to get out of our house because our babysitter got angry at us said she wants to go back to her home town. We packed a few clothes before she found us and convinced us she would stay. We were dumb back then, but you’re dumber because you always agree with my stupid ideas.

I remember being mad when I found out your hair full of sands. Turned out your kindergarten classmate poured a basket of sands to your head. I don’t like the idea of you being exposed to the cruel side of this world, but later on, I realized it is inevitable.

I remember being lonely when we were separated by distance. I remember one day you turned to be a very quiet person, when back then you were a bright and happy little kid. I remember watching you holding yourself back. You were out of our reach, and I remember when you came back to us. Not fully as the happy kid, you used to be, but thankfully, more approachable.

I’m beyond grateful to watch you grow after all this time. You turned to be a wise young man. Now you're maturer than I do in some aspect. I’m happy to watch you achieve your checkpoints one by one. I’m relieved because my worries doesn’t come true.

Whatever it is, I hope you’ll always be who you really are. Steve Jobs once said, “your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life”, and it also goes to you. Enjoy your life, live it to the fullest.

And whenever you need me, I’m always here. I have always been here.

From Pinterest

Bintaro, 24 Oktober 2020

With Love, D